Turning Twenty Blues.

If you have served your purpose, would you stay? Or would you let me go?

I realized that in my nineteen years of existence in this world, I have still more to learn. I am not the center of the universe, and being vulnerable doesn't mean you are weak.

I realized that appearing to be strong so that others would get the impression that you really are, is selfish. Selfish in a sense that you are making everybody else blindly happy--everybody, but you.

I have always thought that my purpose in this life is to make everybody happy, to touch the lives of every people I meet, in one way or another. I have even thought of having this statement as my epitaph 'Touched the lives of others in a way no one else can.' But if I, myself don't know how I'll be happy, how can I make others feel happy about themselves too?

And it always frustrates me. If being with me doesn't make you happy, then you don't deserve me at all, because I don't serve my purpose in the first place. Some sad thought, huh?

I am afraid. That making you happy means losing you, yet losing you will leave me unhappy.
---
When you need me, but do not want me, then I will stay. When you want me, but do not need me, then I have to go. -Nanny McPhee